Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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