your parents love me but you hate me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
