omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
