cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
