he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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