The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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