Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
