Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
