SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
