Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
