nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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