So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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