I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
