Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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