i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
