my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
