I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
