Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
