I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
