Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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