Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
