We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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