You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
