end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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