would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
