Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
