Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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