I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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