just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
