the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
