i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
