So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
