Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
