im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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