how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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