I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
