So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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