There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
