I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
