It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
