I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
