he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
