rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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