I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
