Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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