Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
