real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
