I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wear drunk well.
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