Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
