Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
