I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
