Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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