obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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